And the thing is, the same tedious, tired, pathetic stories that are used to deny sexism- are so much like the same tedious, tired, pathetic stories that are used to deny racism — and as an African-American woman, I’ve heard this stuff all my life.

It’s so funny, because the speaker always thinks he’s bringing something ground-breaking to the table. Something that will forever settle the matter, for once and for all. (As if the extraordinarily complex matters of racism and sexism can be settled with one or two sentences haphazardly thrown out by someone who, often times, has experienced neither.)

And after throwing out a few ill-conceived, entirely biased, factually compromised statements that he believes - are highly persuasive, he sits back, smugly, and basks in self-satisfaction and congratulations.

Many times, I let it go. I smile or nod nicely, and think what a deluded wasted idiotic mind. And I go on my way. Other times, I go hard. Overwhelming said speaker with real facts, information, studies and reports that treat these subjects with the level of complexity that they deserve, if the dialogue between two people were to be, authentic and genuine. The response? Always the same. Extreme defensiveness…anger. The brilliant, ground-breaking speaker stops talking, because — oh God forbid, that he would have to actually use real brain power to think about any of this stuff and respond, reasonably, compassionately and intelligently. We’re talking real neurons firing off - never that!

Working with the Light!

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