Fair enough. Probably not the best choice of words on my part. But honestly, when I read the things that you often find particularly disturbing, I think to myself, “I’ve heard ten times worse.”
And, it doesn’t even faze me, because fuck what I’ve heard, that doesn’t begin to touch what I’ve seen. When it comes to racism, in America, I’ve got pretty thick skin. How else would I survive? How would anyone? How do you?
So when I read the things you write, I often wonder “Does she not know who most white people really are? Does she just not get it?”
I once asked my sister, “when are you going to stop doing this to yourself, having these wildly unrealistic expectations of people? Don’t you see that it never ends well for you?”
You know, it’s painful, watching someone you love getting their heart broken, over and over and over again. So, I begged her to stop doing that thing where she waits for assholes to not be. Eventually she did. She’s much happier for it. I wonder if you wouldn’t be also.
If you’re waiting for collective white America, to acknowledge black humanity, well, in my humble opinion, you’re asking for heartbreak many times over.
But, I could be wrong. Keep writing, and always hope for the best. I hope you find the solace you seem to be seeking.