I like that you are finally doing what you have always wanted to do, isn’t it empowering? Your reflections about your name kinda of make me sad. No one should have to carry a name they don’t really want or like. I like the new name…it suits you.
Writing is an excellent means of self-reflection, which can be a bit much if you go too deep, but I find it is a journey worth taking. Good luck to you on this journey!