I’ve felt it before. When you awaken fully to the destruction of the planet, how massive a destructive feat it is and further how it connects into everything else, the destruction of air, water, insects, animals, people — and for what? So a very small percentage of the population can have a lot of stuff? You realize how sad and stupid and nonsensical it all is. This makes no sense!
When you realize your world makes no sense, it gets a little bit harder to function within it. Anxiety almost isn’t the right word…disillusionment, and sadness and fear…which leads to anxiety. You said in another essay, we’re all on pins and needles waiting for the bottom to drop out. Yes that…but even worse…there is this realization that what you thought you had was never all that great anyway…and you’ve destroyed the planet on your quest for it. You are complicit. 😭 In a very small micro way, but still complicit for every time you choose “plastic” instead of paper. Every time you bought fast-food.
Every micro choice you made to live easier, better, resulted in a making things worse on the macro level. For how hard you worked to escape injustice, you also created greater injustices. (Urban flight from the crack epidemic to suburban sprawl -so bad for the environment.)
And you didn’t know at the time! You didn’t understand the consequences of these actions! That you were running from one dead end, into another. You just wanted escape and relief…like most people on the planet.
What a sobering fact to realize…there is none. No not for any of us. Look at the damage we’ve done. Where is there to run? DuPont has poisoned everyone on the planet…but we were okay with that because we love that Tupperware, ya know? And Agent Orange is toxic death in spray form, we all knew that…but what could we do? Very little, actually. Now we’re all stuck on this toxic, cancer ridden planet…that’s had enough. We’ve all had enough, but we don’t know what to do.
We’ve got crypt-keeper politicians telling us a new green deal is crazy talk, even though it’s the sanest thing ever. When will this world make sense? Can it? Or is too far gone down the rabbit hole of crazy?