Probably not…but these are excellence questions. But honestly our structures are designed to bend over backwards to protect certain kinds of men from taking any responsibility for any sexual crime, no matter how destructive or deviant it is.
I think that creates within in these men, a sense of entitlement to engage in this sort of sexual deviancy. Rape is their absolute unalienable right. They believe that deeply. And when women unite, speak their truths and organize marches on Campus (like Take Back the Night) they are subjected to a violence and viciousness that should be reserved for someone fighting for their very life.
But the only threatening thing these women were doing (to the rich Frat boys) was saying: please don’t rape us and throw us out by the dumpsters. This happened at Northwestern circa 1990, but nothing has changed. Look at the hatred and contempt the Columbia establishment showed “mattress girl” in 2013.
An attempt to appeal to a morality within very privileged individuals is to fundamentally misunderstand what their morality consists of. The morality often consists of the idea that it is righteous to exploit, rape and pillage other human beings…certainly types of women, who are vulnerable because they occupy a lower social status. At best, such an individual is food to be consumed without much consideration of the thoughts or emotions of the individual, who has been reduced to a commodity.
At worst, such an individual is to be used, damaged and discarded. That is the point. That is the intent, to be destructive.
The better question to ask, to get to the heart of the issue is why do these men want to be so destructive? What happens in their culture that encourages this sort of depravity? (And if we’re truly honest with ourselves we don’t have to look far…the doors to psychopathy are everywhere in American culture. In our culture There are so many elaborate invitations to engage in the truly evil, with the idea that to do so is to elevate oneself. What happened to you is a elite frat boy tradition. Everyone knows this…certainly the elite frats know it, and quiet as it is kept, they are fighting hard against attempts to dismantle this tradition. Betsy Devos, head of the Department of Education is leading the charge on this front. She has not only reversed, the Obama/Biden expansion of victim protections available for survivors of sexual assault, she has degraded the flimsy protections that were in place, prior to the Obama/Biden expansion even further. She has practically given the frat elite an invitation to engage in consequence less rape.
Why would a woman do such a thing? Well those frats are tied to very wealthy and powerful individuals; and Betsy is the face that does their bidding. They want destructive predatory rape to be legal…and they fight for the right to rape as if their lives depend on it.
This is a harsh truth that no one wants to face publicly (certainly not the elite frats) but it is what it is.
You can ask these deep probing questions about the morality of men all you want, but largely they are pointless.
Most of these men would slice your throat as soon as smile at you. When you don’t understand the nature of the beast you’re confronting you’re very likely to end up by the side of a dumpster the day after.
This is not to suggest that you’re at fault in anyway. Absolutely not. The fault lies with our very culture so sick, that in some circles this sort of behavior (predatory rape) is celebrated.
Most of the society simply ignores predatory rape, because confronting it head on requires battling not only very powerful, but very disturbing and sick forces that make life very difficult for anyone who rocks that boat.
I am so sorry that this ate up decades of your life. But you’re right. You’re not alone. We could fill several stadiums with those with similar stories. I’m glad you had the courage to tell yours so eloquently and with such dignity.
I’m hearing more and more of these stories by the day…and yet, I just learned a few days ago about a young women I care about deeply being viciously assaulted and attacked.
Sigh. It’s getting hard not to grow weary.