The American Debt Collector is a Shark

And You’re Going to Need a Bigger Boat

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Rule Number 1- Never, Ever, EVER…talk to a Debt Collector Over the Phone

Debt collectors love, love, love to call you on the phone. Many love to threaten you over the phone. Many of them make all kinds of illegal threats to you over the phone. They cannot threaten to serve you at your job over the phone, if they have no intent of actually doing that. But they often make these threats, to frighten and intimidate people into paying them money.

Rule Number 2- Don’t Give ANY information to a Debt Collector

Okay, so let’s say you essentially ignored Rule 1. You jumped out of your damn boat because you think you can swim really well. (No one can out swim a shark, though come on!) But you’re out of the boat, (talking to to the debt collector over the phone.) The conversation will likely go something like this:

Rule Number 3— Always, Always, Always Dispute the Debt

Do you want to do more than just stay in the boat? Do you want to paddle swiftly away from the sharks in the water? If you want to get away from these debt collectors completely unscathed, just ignoring them may work.

Rule Number 4— Always Seek a Settlement to Avoid a Judgment

However, there is one type of debt collector who absolutely will not leave you alone…not even if you know all of your rights under the law; because clearly they know them better. These debt collectors are lawyers. (Often very wealthy and very crooked lawyers.) Much like the organized criminals, they know how to manipulate and grease the legal machine against you so that they can get into your pocket indefinitely.

Rule Number 5 - Always Get Any Deal with a Debt Collector in Writing

Finally, if you are able to get a settlement prior to a judgment, please get it in writing; and make sure that the terms are terms you can meet. If you can’t settle the debt all at once for an affordable lump sum, then request affordable monthly payments for a certain amount of months until the debt is paid in full.

The Judgment

What about the treacherous waters you’re in once you have a judgment against you? Let me explain what that is like, the sharks have taken a chunk out of your boat, and you’re in the water, trying to swim away; and you might make it.

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