“I wish it need not have happened in my time,” said Frodo.
“So do I,” said Gandalf, “and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.” — J.R.R. Tolkien
Are you a Nazi? Am I? These days you have to wonder. We all do. These are Nazi making times.
Most of us, who are educated in anyway, have read about Nazi Germany. Oh the horrors. For the love of God, for the deep, dark devil…the sheer inhumanity of rounding up, fellow citizens, neighbors, friends — and just hating them, for who they are, their religion, their ethnicity. Creating elaborate and extensive propaganda machines against them…inciting hatred and violence. Sending them into camps, where they would be treated less than human and worked to death…and that’s if they were lucky. There were worse fates. There was torture. There were gas chambers. There was an inhumanity so dark, so evil, so twisted and sick…if you’re like me…when you read about this, circa 1986, 1987, 1988, hopefully you asked yourself, WTF? Like seriously, WTF?
I wondered, what was wrong with the people on the other side of all of this? How could they allow themselves to descend to such depths. What was wrong with them? How could they resort to such monstrosity? What deep darkness within them allowed them to deny their fellow humans of their humanity?
They were just your very average, ordinary, everyday people…all the psychologist say. The shrinks say there is a nazi in every single one of us. Under the right circumstances, there is a Nazi, inside of you and inside of me.
That’s pretty obvious to me, now, because in America 2019…in the world today 2019, we have the right circumstances…and we have our Nazis. We have them in America, they go by other names these days. Try ICE, Neo- Nazis, Skinheads, Border Patrol, Corrections Officers, Police. As for concentration camps, certainly we have our own American ones, far worse than anything Nazi Germany ever saw. It’s the for-profit prison industrial complex, unapologetic in its targeting of vulnerable minority children, the backs off of whom it has made billions. It’s the detainment centers at the borders, operating in similar fashion. It’s also in my backyard…in my community. I see it daily. It’s getting worse.
The bullying and degrading children of color, in their schools, by teachers of privilege. The frothing at the mouth unabashedly at City Council meetings and at Human Rights Commission meetings whereby elected officials insist that people living among us be treated less than. They shan’t be counted…they are illegal. They have black or brown skin…and God forbid they be male to boot…it’s a crime that causes the Nazis among us to wish death upon them.
I am looking into the heart of darkness…everyday…in my own community.
There is no denying that Nazi Germany is here, today now. It happened so fast. I never thought I would live to see the day. Of course I never wanted this…who would? It’s disgusting. Honestly? The state of American today? I often want to vomit. I have no appetite, more often than not, as I do not want to live among such people. The monsters are everywhere, these days. Everywhere.
I often wonder, is this hell? How did we get here? And what do we do here? I always thought, I’d be one of those people, who would fight and resist and speak out — and say: Never me! Never this! Never!
But…what have I actually done? Am I providing sanctuary to the most vulnerable among us? Would I? Am I, in any way, using my marginal position of privilege to do everything I can to stop this madness? This insanity? Am I speaking out enough? Am I politically involved enough? Should I be more so?
Surely…this is the battle for the soul of America. This is a battle between good and evil. The stakes are really high, as I’m only two people away from the camps myself…only a few votes away from the Hand Maiden’s dystopia…where I would certainly be killed off quickly (having no fertility to bargain with). I’m certain I’d be better off dead at any rate, but seriously? Don’t kid yourself into thinking this ain’t your battle…this is probably true for you too, This is how it happens. Darkness at noon.
Resist! Speak out! Speak Up! Vote! Honestly? I do try…but…I think I fall short, in the face of this darkness…this horror. I could do more. I am calculated, in the ways in which I speak out…and when. There is so much fear..and rightly so…this darkness, can turn against anyone…it can turn against me. I’m not so afraid of that, I have stared death in the face before (cancer). But what about those I love? My family and friends? What about the children? What about the future? Who will ensure that it is free from fear? What happens when I lose my courage? When I stop speaking up and out, because…it’s no longer safe, no longer wise?
Am I becoming a Nazi? Are you? Seriously? Is this how it happens…slowly…like the frogs in the water. We should all be asking ourselves these questions.
Today, it’s the slacking off in my activism…it’s not giving my all and everything. But tomorrow, maybe it’s turning my head, looking the other way, not speaking up, not getting involved, when people I know and care about are dragged off by ICE or police in the dead of the night, or broad day light, without any due process, without any cause other than some hateful person’s whim? Just a phone call can do it. Seriously, it’s just that easy to destroy someone’s life, their families lives…it is happening…today know as I write this. This I know.
The day after that, it’s being quiet, not making a fuss, when a random angry white guy, with uber Nazi tendencies, goes into the a Black church and kills everyone there, by the hundreds.
He will gets a little more than a slap on the wrist (with a nudge and a wink) from one of newly appointed Judges servicing our super corrupt criminal justice system, that barely pretends (just barely) to be anything but slavery in a slightly different form.
Am I Nazi? Are you? Am I the kind of person who hears about this deadly assault on a Mosque, half way across the world, and merely sighs. (I am.)
I say to myself: What can I do? (I should be doing something. Comforting all the Muslims I personally know?) Yet and still, I know, no matter what I do, it’s not enough, not nearly…and I wonder, does this make me a Nazi? Is this the path to such extreme inhumanity? Am I on it? Are you? I am, after all, just everyday people. So are you.
I am seeing people fall before my very eyes…everyday…in my America. I am seeing how they are targeted for dehumanization, (sometimes out of a deep hatred and other times, I think for pure folly…for some sick and insecure person’s power trip.) It goes like this:
I am white…I am better…I will show her, for sassing me! I will call the police.. I will call ICE… I will turn her little life into a living hell…just cause I wanna…just cause I can.
I am bearing witness, to these sorts of antics in my community. It is sickening to bear witness in this way. It leaves a certain constant queasiness in my stomach..day in..day out. Is this fear? Is this anxiety? Is this how ordinary people like me, get so worn down, that they become Nazis? Are we all on our way to becoming Nazis? Will we learn to look the other way…pretend we don’t smell bodies burning in our backyards? And how will we live with ourselves when we do this? Will we want to live at all? I don’t think I hae the stomach for it.
I really wish this had not happened, it my time. This is hell for me…I don’t know about you…but honestly, I wake up daily, feeling like I am in hell.
What can I do? All I can do is the best I can do, with the time I have. I try to shine my light..in times of such darkness. I try to convince others to do the same.
God bless us all. Even the Nazis among us…for we are them.