There is no intention of stopping this, ever. Most of you are stupid, stupid, stupid, too fucking stupid to even have a clue that we are shitting on your plates and telling you it’s prime rib. You believe us and eat it up, every time.

And for those of you who aren’t stupid? These smart ass Millenials? We will break you. We will 2+2 =5 you until the end of time and eventually you will believe it to. We will dumb your smart asses down. We will make you stupid. We will.

Because we want you to eat our shit, just like those of old tired stupid fuckers before you. We got most of them completely under our thumb, at least half of them Boomers thought they were special. Free love and peace and flowers. Look at them now. At least half of them eating our shit like it’s delicious 😋. We will do the same to you.

We want you to eat out shit, smile and we want you to like it. A good portion of you already are! Just look at your President! Isn’t he delightful? And we didn’t even select him, your dumb asses did. To be fair, it was the old decrepit and deluded farts who really are over the top for him, but he’s got a fair share of Millennials to, eating his shit too.

Have at him. He destroys things more quickly than we would have ever attempted, for we know you’re stupid, but we had no idea that you were that stupid! But now we know. And we will use this to our advantage clearly.

We already got legions singing to our tune, jumping whenever we say so, fighting and killing others, cause we think it’s fun to kick off wars and watch them play out. That’s so entertaining. Plus it makes us richer.

Destroying the earth you say? We don’t give a fuck! We will burn the motherfucker down and buy a new one! We’re thinking Mars. No your stupid simple ass is not invited, unless you have a baby we want to fuck or kill.

Oh yeah, we fuck and kill kids. All the time. The younger, the more innocent the better. That really gets us off, even more so than the wars we create for kicks. Let’s get one thing straight we like to destroy things, the greater and purer they are, the more points we get.

But you smartasses are really annoying us right now. Telling everyone what’s up, posting articles about democracy and authoritarianism and capitalism, how do you even know those words Holly Wood, PhD?

We made a point to dumb down all the public education systems so that the only government right you would understand is “gun!” “Gun! gun! Gun!” That’s all you need to know.

Now go by a few dozen and shoot up one of the worthless schools we have you. Bowl for Columbine. But for god sakes stop talking about real intelligent ideas like climate change, and the rule of law and “healthcare.” Stop it!

Some people are actually listening to you.

Do you think we give a fuck if you’re healthy? Hell n0!!!! We want you to die! The planet is too crowded and you’re disposable as vermin!

And since you have to die, do you mind if we share our preference? Even though we’re cool with gun deaths, we prefer cancer. Guns kill quickly, whereas with cancer you slowly suffer, while we torture you with horrorific medical practices that we’ve turned into a trillion dollar industry. Cut, burn, kill is a trillion dollar industry that will never cure cancer. Which is perfect. We don’t want a cure. We want you to suffer horribly and pay us trillions to increase your suffering.

Problem though, you smart asses are getting hip and are actually starting to demand things! Fucking millennials talking about Clean, renewable energy, basic income, affordable healthcare, fewer wars. How dare you! Well…We can’t have this.

So we double down on all the stupid shit we do, plus feed you mounds and mounds of it on styrofoam earth wrecking disposable plates — and make sure you eat it. We’re pretty sure it’s working. If it’s not, we’re going to start ramming shit down your throats! (We’re practically at that point anyway.)

There will be no waking up, nor excercise of intelligent thought. Understood? It’s not good for business.

Signed,

The Illuminati

Working with the Light!