Wow! Your son does look just like you! And it’s funny because he clearly looks black and you clearly look white…but you know…these things happen. Genetics mock our ridiculous social norms around race.

The question about where your brown children are from is a ridiculous question, not based in any misunderstanding about black or brown people residing in American, but more out of an assumption that no self-respecting white person would have anything to with them. (The black Americans already here).

If you’re white, and have adopted a black child, certainly you didn’t get one from Boston. Hell no. That’s not enough of a status symbol or exotic enough, to be socially acceptable to cross the very strict color lines that have been established, (in bones and blood) in America.

If you choose to cross these color lines, it has to be done celebrity style — like Angelina Jolie, you must go all the way to Ethiopia, be appalled by what you saw there, and bring a starving African child back to the U.S. Some how White Americans see this is acceptable adopting behavior. Adopting black children from Cleveland, or Detroit or Boston is not. Why do white people think like this? I don’t know, but I think it goes back to this deep unwillingness in the white American psyche to deal with white privilege born out of the institution of slavery, and all of the havoc that has wreaked on generations of African-Americans. Your statement: “They are from here. They are from us.” Is for some white people, the absolutely last thing they would every want to hear about your brown children. When they ask you “where are they from”. What they are really saying is: “Tell me a story about your brown children that makes me comfortable. Tell me that they are from far away. Please don’t tell me, it’s a thing now, to adopt ordinary black American children, because we have a society where we have all agreed, (certainly us white Americans) that it’s okay to throw those children away; and I really don’t want that to change.”

They feign ignorance about the existence of African-American children available for adoption, for the exact same reasons they feign ignorance about the existence of racism. The fact that hundreds of thousands of African-American children need to be adopted, is an inconvenient truth most White Americans would much rather ignore, and if a fellow white American decides not to participate in this collective ignorance, well that upsets the story, and forces a reevaluation…when, for the love of God, all they want to hear is that these kids are from Zimbabwe, so they can go along with stories about race and racism that are most comfortable to their world view about it, which many don’t want to have challenged in the least.

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