Yes, there have been plenty of black men who have been nice to me. Bernard, from London, was actually fucking awesome. He was 100% pure Ghanaian, as in African. But because he grew up in London I think he was pretty westernized. He and I had a wonderful relationship. But that doesn’t make for a good story. A good story is one with conflict…and this story has conflict in spades.

And…it’s a surprising story…you seem to have already determined Jay is bad…wrong for Autumn. Are you sure? You don’t know how this story ends. It’s just getting started.

Anyway one’s life story is complex. I’ve had both white and black men who have been awesome to me. I’ve had both white and black men who have been terrible to me. Don’t get me started on the four star general I used to work with who was “French Canadian” — and I’m like that’s a thing? He was a huge, sexist asshole who largely made my life miserable…and yet, even he had his human moments. I’ll never forget the time he tried to cheer me up, when no one else in the room — it was an executive meeting-seemed to give a damn that I was six feet from the edge.

So I say all of that to say this, people are complex, and even sexists assholes can be “nice” to a woman from time to time.

The man who did the most lasting and devastating damage to me, was, by far, my father, who is more white than black. His DNA is 47% British Isle and 43% West African — so you know it is what it is Paul. Just stop trying to make it all about race.

Working with the Light!

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