You know? I’m an African-American women listening to a lot of my sisters jump on this particular rant, and I’m fricking annoyed because This is triage mode, And nobody has time for this particular gripe. I clearly don’t. Lives are on the line. I almost don’t give a damn if white women marching spat on me at the damn march, who cares? They showed up to resist- and in the end, practically, logistically- as a resistance movement — we need the numbers.
We don’t have time for: “Becky with the good hair didn’t smile at me☹️”
Yeah Becky probably will never smile at you — so what? You got much bigger problems. You need to focus.
It is ridiculously unrealistic for any group struggling with the assault upon their humanity, to expect another group struggling with the same or similar issues, to drop their issues and jump on your own. We are all struggling with a variety of issues and assaults, and because people are largely self-interested, focus on one’s own affinity group’s set of particular problems is not going to change.
White women are going to be obsessed with white women issues — and there’s quite enough going on with all of that to keep them quite busy. Gay women obsessed with gay issues.
(And I can count on one hand black women who will openly advocate for LGBTQ members of the community- so all those complaining about white women not doing enough, take that log out of your eye and check what YOU are doing for OTHER marginalized women- if it’s nothing, then your gripe about white women is rife with hypocrisy.)
Latinas are obsessed with Latina issues and Black women are going to be obsessed with black women issues, and God knows we need help and we will take it — but to expect it, from any component of white America is to set yourself up for disappointment. The most entitled among us, don’t have to do a damn thing for any of us less entitled; and most times will not. It is far too much trouble, takes most people to far out of their comfort zone and these days people are so hostile their is zero reward in doing it anyway. When white women try to show up, they often get rage unleashed upon them that isn’t even meant for them, it is meant for the man…they are not the man and so ultimately that is a coward’s move. Got problems with Trump? Dont be a punk. Take it to Trump. Don’t use these white women as his surrogates. They are not him or his cronies. Furthermore, they owe you nothing; and they have their own problems to wrestle with, so taking on any other groups is not likely to be on the agenda.
It is unreasonable and unrealistic to have different expectations and to do so is largely to frustrate yourself. Why bang your head against that particular brick wall? Is that really a luxury you can afford right now? There is so much work to do.
This is triage mode. There is power in numbers and no, we are not going to all get along ever, that’s never going to happen. But we can align to resist. That is the whole point of an alliance. You don’t have the best relationship with a particular ally, hell you may not even like them, but what keeps you united is a common enemy, a common threat.
There are so many things wrong with this administration, you get out and march because you are a human being and you want to live. Not because you want Becky to be your friend.